Don’t Porn and Drive!

Don

Don't Porn And Drive!

Don’t Porn and Drive!

A 58-year-old man from Detroit learned this lesson the hard way earlier this year. Clifford Ray Jones died instantly (and pantsless) when he crashed his car and was ejected from the sunroof (again while pantsless).

Officers on scene believe he was watching porn on his cell phone at the time, and it also seems he was not wearing a seat belt. Lieutenant Mike Shaw from the Michigan State Police commented that while accidents caused by distracted driving is nothing new, this particular case was among the strangest he’d encountered.

What was Mr. Jones watching at the time? There’s no way of knowing, but it must have been one eye-popping fuckfest of a porn video.

Distracted driving and new legislation aimed to reduce accidents have been in the news this year. Chances are the state or region you live in is already looking to address the issue and so far that’s meant stiffer fines for anyone caught texting or on their cell phones while behind the wheel. The National Safety Council recently announced April to be Distracted Driving Awareness Month as a recent report showed the act has proven more deadly than drinking and driving.

Emerging technology is also playing a role in helping reduce the number of distracted drivers on the road. “Textalyzer” is a new concept that would essentially allow police offers to detect if you’re actively using your cell phone while driving. Mobile forensics company Cellebrite has been actively developing Textalyzer as a new tool for law enforcement.

Privacy concerns have come into play as Textalyzer becomes closer to reality but Jim Grady, CEO for Cellebrite outlines, “We’re specifically designing it to protect the privacy of the user so it’s important not to say who you were texting or what you said, but just the evidence that you were texting and specifically things like the way you hit the keyboard and frequency.” We’re still unsure how this technology would detect streaming hardcore sex videos but it’s probably best to watch your favorite gangbang once you arrive at your destination.”

We suggest taking another path. If you really need to enjoy some porn on the road, watch as a passenger and make it a kinky group session (without distracting the driver, of course). Or better yet, hold off for autonomous smart cars so you can pound your pud in relative safety!

Autonomous Cars - The way to watch Porn on the go?

In the meantime, we suggest you exercise some caution.

PORN.COM’s Driving Tips*:

  • Keep your hands at “6” and “9”
  • Make sure you have a nice, firm grip on your stick shift
  • Be careful not to be rear-ended (unless that’s what you want)

*We are not driving safety instructors, don’t take our advice too much to heart.

While you can enjoy PORN.COM on the go, we strongly urge you to enjoy your porn while you’re home or at the very least not while you’re zooming down the interstate. Don’t Porn and Drive!

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